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05 January 2015

Dear TNA: Please Don't Ever Leave Us Again


Disclaimer: You people didn't think I wouldn't have something written down and posted on the week of the TNA grand re-launch on Destination America did ya??? Anyway this write up is a very simple one as it's an open letter from me to TNA Impact Wrestling.

Dear TNA Wrestling,

       I first want to say thank fucking God that you have returned because it's been a frustrating and agonizing two months sitting around looking at the calendar waiting for you guys and gals to return to my silver screen. In that time I had to watch nothing but crap from the WWE if I wanted to get my wrestling fix and that is simply cruel. I had to watch SuperCena do super things, I had to watch HHH and Sting have a melodramatic faceoff as Dolph Ziggler and Seth Rollins sold a Pedigree and a ZigZag like death for like SIX minutes at Survivor Series 2014 only for that match to be rendered pointless 5 weeks later, I had to watch Maggle Cole, JBL and Lawler use a horrifically forced laugh at the antics of a bunny and I could go on and on with the stupid things I have seen from the WWE since you guys at TNA went dark back in November but then that would be unfair to the people who think the WWE is the bees knees and I am just a biased TNA fan after all so lets get back to TNA. My point TNA is that we TNA fans NEED you especially someone like me whose wrestling fandom lives and dies with you guys and gals.

       We need you now more then you can ever imagine and please don't ever leave us like that again for two months. We need to see wrestlers like Bobby Lashley kicking ass and being a badass on a weekly basis not once every three months like other badasses in that alternative WWE Universe, we need Bobby Roode bringing honor and prestige to the TNA World Title, we need Eric Young to be here every week standing up for the little guy and underdogs everywhere, we need to watch our messiah James Storm lead his revolution to the top of TNA Wrestling, we need to see Gail Kim showing the world that women could be just as good as wrestlers as men are, we need to watch Taryn Terrell show us that Kaley Cuoco can wrestle real good (Okay that was my poor attempt at a joke) but more importantly show us that beautiful women can be badass wrestlers too, we need to see The Wolves show us that you can be top stars of a wrestling promotion while still being exclusive to being tag team wrestlers in 2014, we need to see Low Ki throw some of the stiffest chops and kicks I have ever seen on a daily basis, we need to see Austin Aries wow us with his unequivocal awesomeness on a weekly basis, we need The Hardys to show us that they are superhuman by being this good despite almost 20 years of taking hellacious bumps, we need MVP to show us that wrestling needs more Don King inspired characters, we need to see Bram continue to show the world that he is the King of Hardcore Wrestling, we need Havok to show us that beautiful badass chicks do exist in this world and MOST IMPORTANTLY we need to see Ethan Carter the Third on a weekly basis showing us why the world needs Carters like him. However we don't need to see anything from that Rockstar Spud guy because we have seen him every week on "I'm With Spud" Wednesdays :) and haven't had time to miss the personification of awesomeness that is Rockstar Spud during this period.

     For anyone at TNA headquarters reading this, you couldn't help but notice the use of the NEED a lot and it is the truth. TNA fans who have a hard life as it is because we are TNA fans on the internet were forced to cut our TNA habit cold turkey and that was just cruel as TNA withdrawal is a bitch to go through and we NEED our TNA fix on a weekly basis again. This brief hiatus has shown us what a scary place professional wrestling would be in without you guys around but thankfully the wait is over as of this Wednesday night and myself and many many many many many other TNA fans around this planet can get back to getting our TNA fix every single week going forward in 2015 and beyond. TNA is officially back in two days and NOT A MOMENT TOO FUCKING SOON.

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